Loving Rebuke

Author: Joseph

Date: October 22, 2023

Have you ever been the recipient of public shaming for something you did wrong? What kind of reaction did you have? Likely you were embarrassed, perhaps defensive, and then felt like fleeing the situation and all those whom you had been shamed in front of. You altogether abandoned those who had seen your shame, never to return and it left you broken. Perhaps you were the one who wanted to publicly humiliate someone. You felt it was fair or perhaps by your own reasoning, just. And yet still when the act was done, nothing was resolved, but only a deeper division was created between you and the person whom you had conflict with. In fact, you looked for opportunities to remind that person of their shame when you encountered them.

Neither of these is how the believer is to behave. God gives us clear direction on how we are to both give correction and receive it.

Yeshua said, “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother” (Matthew 18:15). When sin occurs and confrontation is required, the first action we are to take is to show the sin to the person who committed it so that it is clearly known to them that they sinned. It is possible that they didn’t even realize it. Knowing or unknowingly, sin was committed, but until that person is confronted, we have no way of knowing if they are aware. Confronting someone who committed sin is loving in this manner: if they are unaware, we confront them in order to make them aware so that they can repent and be forgiven. We wouldn’t ignore someone ingesting poison unknowingly and we shouldn’t let someone go unaware of the sin that they committed, which like poison, will cause great harm to them or perhaps kill them.

If the person is aware that they have sinned, then our confrontation is a reminder that their sin did not go unnoticed. It is not so much important that we noticed their sin, but that by showing that we noticed their sin, they are reminded that God is also always aware of their actions and they should seek to not displease God and incur judgment upon themselves. And since we are being used by God in this way, we also bear responsibility to do so in a righteous manner that doesn’t sin against the person who sinned. This is why Yeshua says, “...if he listens to you, you have won your brother,” because we are seeking their good in exposing the sin that was done, so that they have been won and turned away from a path of destruction. We are not seeking to pridefully boast in our own position as the exposer of sin, but humbly expose the sin as it was noticed in order to win them back over to walking in righteousness and in favor with God.

Even with the best effort to humbly expose sin and recover the one who sinned, sometimes the correction is not accepted and the heart is hardened. Perhaps that person already had already not been on friendly terms with you. This is difficult to overcome and must be preemptively addressed when approaching them. Or, perhaps that person simply despises your correction and reacts defensively, whether kindly or not. If they react by rejecting correction, then Yeshua says, “But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed” (Matthew 18:16). This is done after you confront the other person in secret. In this next step, the matter becomes more publicly known, but only to an intimate few.

These intimate few of two or three witnesses are not to put pressure on the individual by means of force. These two or three witnesses only act as that, a witness, in order to establish a truthful account of correction taking place. They do not take the confrontation and make it public or start rumors. Neither do they play a role in restating the correction other than by humbly encouraging repentance. If the person who committed sin repents, then they have won him over. The matter is resolved and the one who committed sin knows that they have support in repentance by the fellowship of the group that witnessed the rightful return away from sin.

If the person still refuses to listen to repentance, then the one who initially gave correction is to bring the witnesses from the second confrontation with them and tell the matter to the local believing community. This provides support for the accusation since a matter cannot be confirmed by a single person (Deuteronomy 19:15). This fellowship of believers then first confirms the truth of the matter, removing any room for doubt or injustice due to false witnesses (Deuteronomy 19:16-20). If the testimony is proven true, then they provide correction to the one who has sinned with hopeful expectations that they will repent and be won over. The whole of the matter is to bring the one who sinned back to repentance so that they do not enter into God’s judgment for their sin. God will punish them and so we make every attempt to keep them away from suffering this fate by providing every opportunity to repent. It is not the one doing the correcting that the sinner should fear, but the One who brings judgment from their despising correction.

"...correction is always an act of mercy..."

The act of correction is always an act of mercy towards the person who has committed sin and is approached humbly and with the goal of redemption. Once the one who has committed sin has rejected all the mercies that have been extended, then they must be removed from the community and be treated as a stranger. Sin cannot be tolerated in God’s community and on-going sin will always be a stumbling block to others to do the same and to lose a healthy fear of the LORD that hates sin and loves what is good and righteous. Remember to always bring a rebuke in humility, knowing that you are earnestly seeking redemption for the person who has sinned and never their harm. Who is someone who you know is living in sin and needs to hear a loving rebuke? Do not fear correcting them when doing so can redeem them from sin and back to God.

Perhaps you are the person being corrected. Even if the person correcting you is doing so improperly and not in the manner that the Bible speaks about, consider that God would even use their broken voice to reveal your sin. Sin is sin, regardless of how it is exposed and you need to seek repentance instead of focusing on the voice the exposure is coming through. Your repentance is towards God first.

Matthew 18:15-17

Scripture quotations taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.lockman.org